quinta-feira, 15 de janeiro de 2009

For tragic times.

Sometimes you let something in so fast and so deep that suddenly you don’t know anymore when or why your life turned into this, and all the thoughts lead to only one thing. This thing. This new reason for your life.
I think this is the perfect time for change. To find your own reasons. I mean, it’s never good to live through someone or something else.
I keep thinking… there are so many people that spend years letting themselves go with their own emotional addictions. Not that I’m saying I don’t have mine… but once in a year, at least, I get a little desperate about how still and passive I am.
Well… the situation is better now. Now we’re all in speaking terms, at least. And now I’m not desperate anymore about those money issues. Although I’m still gonna suffer a little bit about money this semester. Yeah, whatever.
I just started thinking… and went on. Started with this morning thought of hopelessness. Realizing where my distraction, and fun, and amusement and oblivion lay. And coming to the fear of being letting myself go again down one path I don’t want to be in. Actually, I don’t think I’m there. This was one desperate though for desperate times.
The lesson I could take from this whole story, and this whole year that, thank heavens, is passed is that, after all, I’m on my own. I may have good people walking besides me sometimes. Sometimes they walk after me, or me after them. Sometimes in perfect parallel for some time. But I’m always gonna continue my own walk towards my own ending.
The lesson is to enjoy this good people around, but always to have in mind that the reason to keep walking is not who you can see around, but what you actually can’t see, but can imagine is far ahead.

►Tragic thoughts… for tragic times.