terça-feira, 3 de março de 2009

Not capable yet.

I just hate these movies and songs about my sad little stories. Hate even more how big these stories actually are.
Well… it’s about me. Always. About me believing that my value lies on someone’s face. I have a problem with faces, you see.
I’m still there, but with new words to my vocabulary now. At least I can describe the whole situation in a different way without breaking my tongue. I think I’ve broken something else during these days of waiting when there shouldn’t be any. But, even with this new refreshed talking about all the sadness thing, I’m still pretending to be in this room, being watched by those who I watch closely. Pretending to be important to those who are so important to me. Pretending to be unique and irresistible. Really hearts when days like this come and really prove me wrong. Must be that sagittarius thing I was talking with Theus about today.
I’m irresponsible, I’m hopeless, I’m a sad little girl with too many feelings and too few strong opinions, if you might say.
Got into something that I knew would cause me trouble. Got into some other thing that I hoped to cause me happiness, was sadly wrong. Got into something that seamed to me like a solution to the pain… was just a temporary excuse to keep inside that old room. Then, when everything seams to be awful, got myself into something that shall cause me a lot of head aches and probably, a car crash… but you know what? Was the only pleasant thing I did in days and the only choice I could be kind of proud of making. So, to hell with it. Wish I could say to hell with everything, but… no capable yet.
I do hate these movies and songs. They happen to be my favorites, though.

►Biggest challenge so far… but still, one of the biggest adventures: to be a teacher. Oh god… I’m so tired already!