The world erases me with the same effortlessness (great word) that it lets me shine. Who wouldn’t, when all that it wants me to be is so easily found in other random people that walk by everyday?
I can’t think of ways out. Like it is with a brilliant song, the appreciation of what goes on in my mind is exclusively private. I wish it wasn’t. But, even if I call for help and even if the help comes, this is a brilliant song, a private thought, a suffering that not even me or anyone else can erase by understanding. Fuck the reasons and fuck the consequences… the thing is: I’m too afraid of being myself. So I remain trapped inside the safety bubble that I created so that I wouldn’t have to face the fight.
Everything the world does is show me that nobody is loosing anything by loosing me and nobody is getting anything by having me around.
And my plans are getting far far away. Things are loosing sense. Nothing seams to be working. And I seam to be falling free.
I shall say, this is the hardest time I’ve ever been through!
►"Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential" (Dresden Dolls)
